that one of the man on the train is actually from an old movie.
^ it still happened why to heckie would that make a difference
my Dad makes dad jokes but because hes a physics teacher theyre not common dad jokes
"hey dad, whats up?"
"Up is a directional vector with no force"
i think the reason perfume commercials are so weird is because they have to advertise a smell without using smells
"Don’t kid yourself" would be a great slogan for birth control pills
once i was so tired that i sat on the toilet and started looking for a seatbelt